Welcome to my first “Just for Fun Friday”!
I actually had a lot of fun finding these. After finding some pretty hilarious gossip clips written about my own Ancestor, I got curious and started reading more papers and let me tell you… funny stuff is everywhere.
I think I’ll mostly focus on old newspaper content, but we’ll see where Fridays take us!
“‘GO BACK TO YOUR DOLLS’
Cynthia Grey’s Advice to Jealous Miss.
I am a girl of 13, and am in love with a young man of 18. He goes with another girl and I am very jealous. He does not seem to care anything about me. Advise me how to win him. —B. C.
My advice to you is to go play with your dolls and stop thinking of such foolishness. You are only a child and ought not to be interested in such things at all. Read good books and devote yourself to your studies and your play, for several years yet, if you want to grow up into a sensible likeable young woman.”
“In Corunna, near Madrid, a mother and daughter simultaneously gave birth to sons. Gesticulating relatives swarmed about to inspect. Hearty toasts were drunk. The new-born nephew and uncle, who much resembled one another, were accidentally “mixed up.”
The babies will never know their true relationship.”
“To Preserve a Husband
Chicago Journal Gives Advice on Important Subject.
Select a nice, kind, amiable, industrious and generous man, and prepare him for the ordeal of making him go through a long engagement, which effectually renders him easy to handle. Gently detach him from all old friends and acquaintances and remove any bad habits he might have. To preserve, deprive him of his latchkey and throw a handful of mother-in-law in the house. Shred him of all of his finer feelings by nagging and pound them into a pulp by complaints. When he has simmered down put as much love into the heart as it will hold, add an ocean of sympathy, a word of tenderness, a pound of forbearance and a ton or so of patience.—Chicago Record-Herald.”
“Woman Is Given Thrill of Seeing ‘Own Obituary’
Centralia, Wash., Dec. 14.—Mrs. Mina Miles is not dead. Newspaper accounts of her death “are greatly exaggerated.” Friends meeting her on the street after appearance of the story took her for a ghost. Letters of condolence had poured in on her family. Investigation brought to light that in an item regarding the death of Mrs. Anna Spencer at the Miles home, then name of Mrs. Miles inadvertently replaced that of Mrs. Spencer.”
“Kansas Health Board Issues Health Rules For Those Who Kiss
(Amoelated Press Leased Wire.)
Topeka, Kansas, Oct. 12.—
Eleven rules for the guidance of kissers were issued today by the Kansas board of health and the United States public health service.
The instructions, published in the “Communicator,” organ of the health service, as “Health rules for nurses and teachers,” follow:
Don’t kiss in crowded places.
Don’t kiss on trains, at fairs and food shows, in theatres, department stores, chain groceries or elevators.
Don’t kiss in any poorly ventilated-room. There must be plenty of fresh air. It is a prime necessity.
Never kiss in movie or picture houses.
Guard against sudden changen in temperature when kissing. Kissing in a coon-skin coat one minute and a lighter apparel the next is extremely dangerous.
Don’t kiss any person who has chills and fever.
Avoid kissing anyone who has the flu or any other contagious or hereditary disease.
At a party, where postoffice and similar games are played, be sure to gargle frequently.
If you feel “all in” after kissing or being kissed, take a hot mustard foot bath and avoid drafts.
Be on your guard against contracting or disseminating ailment or disease of any kind or description.
If you must practice the art of kissing, do it on the quiet and not tempt others.”